A Fourth Of July Interlude

She comes to me around the Fourth of July. Every year. Thoughts and memories encircling my mind and heart and I pause at each one. Much like a beautiful sea shell, unbroken, embedded in a pocket of hard glittery wet sand. I see her more at this time of year, her laugh, her wise self who picked me up, brushed me off, taught me to keep the ongoing. How to bend the knee, wobbly, uncertainly, triumphantly. Her faith so big and wide I wonder at the vastness, and the day she died, her Jesus-filled self, loving all us around her, love pouring out of her dying self. A tired and worn heart giving life support one last time. I wonder at God's creativity, her being born on this day, all sparkly, brilliant displays of light, picnics, barbecues, family and friends gathering, let freedom ring.

I look at the picture of the two of us, this reminder placed on our refrigerator, a strategic sticky note to myself; love happens, love wins, you are loved big. Isn't that all there is, really? Gathering my thoughts, like a fragrant bouquet of multi-colored roses, the freshly cut kind, I garner the memories, inhaling Grace and say, Thank You.

Love has hands to help others. It has feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of me. That is what love looks like,

~Augustine of Hippo~

I have her wooden rolling pin laying behind our silver tea kettle. Borrowed from her daughter last Thanksgiving, our daughter in need and my own kitchen coming up barren. I have it still, it reminds me of her and how my knees want to straighten and stiffen tight. And how sacrifice is OK and giving truly is receiving and peace flows right freely when that scared place inside gives up the fight. And I hear the Beatles sing that old tune, her life song matching the refrain. "All you need is love, love love love." 

It's Fourth of July, Happy Birthday I say quiet. And it's the silence that greets me back, this peaceful interlude, this unfathomable Grace, unending love, overflowing Joy.

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