A Peaceful Surrender

January, the month of new beginnings. When new calendar is hung, this month, it stares back in all its pristine glory, untarnished with those penned reminders of busy life. A promise of renewal, freshness to savor and linger with, much like holding a newborn, diminutive head cradled in nook of the arm, guileless and pure. As I mark engagements on the virgin calendar, holding the pen between my fingers, I hear the nightly newscast in the other room, and the messiness enfolds my spirit. Peace. Remember Peace. No resolutions, just Peace.

At the gym I talk with a friend, we perch on stationary bicycles, I turn toward her and say, "It feels like we often get the same life lessons to learn over and over again." I slow. I think of my life journal of re-runs, of repeated pleas, of disciplines not yet mastered. Of broken promises to myself. I swallow Grace and pedal. She gives me an emphatic nod, "'I know, I know exactly you mean!" I think of January, all the moments, blessings and miracles I've yet to behold, to scratch down in ink. Maybe re-runs are OK and crowded journals are unspoken truth. A soothing hymn for the dispirited soul.

 Later, I stop to read another story about loss and survival, quenched hope and beautiful redemption. The downcast granted another chance, a blessing, divine rescue. After reading the story I knew just what January needed. The answer to the elusive question of do-overs. Like a life preserver thrown in deep frigid sea, I reach out with unclenched fist, grab hold of the pen once again, the one discipline that trumps all negativity and fear. I count. Again. Frolicking in the re-runs, writing my thanks to the author of it all, peacefully, joyfully, surrendering to Grace.

# rain pelting windows. #picture on cell of baby boy's face, smeared with carrots. #lavender, just because.#Chevy Chase is funny

"The reward of choosing joy, is joy itself."

~Henri Nouwen~