Let it Go

She knew the lyrics, the refrain anyway, her voice rising in pitch, lowering as she stumbled over words her three-year-old self had not yet mastered. This mega-hit from the movie Frozen, granddaughter intoned still strums through my psyche since we returned from Virginia. "Let it go, let it go! Can't hold it back anymore. Let it go, let it go! Turn away and slam the door..." The queen in the film, she has special icy powers and sings in freedom, her powers now unrestrained, unfettered. Granddaughter carried this tune with her in the car, on the sofa, at play and at rest. An uninhibited a capella.

 Those three words, they plague me, and I confess, I have a difficult time of letting it go. There are many things I clutch dear, even though songs and God remind us otherwise. My Hood to Coast grayish sweatshirt from 1999, I still don at night when chill seeps in. Welfare of my family, children, grandchildren, I fervently pray every day their hearts will never stray, and they will always be happy, healthy, never hurt. The Kardashians, how it troubles me they are everywhere and why is this so?  Even habits and attitudes cling like a small child's arms to mother's strong neck. Afraid to let go of the past, afraid to let go of judgements, afraid to let go of desire to control, afraid to let family wing it alone. I chewed on those three words, really let this conviction sink soul deep, down to the root of my own resistance to truly let it go. Maybe the whole of this life is a process of letting go, of re-framing the past, of trying on new ideas, how do they fit and are they liberating? Perfectionism, another word for yesterday, it might not fit well, and maybe the new life within is indeed for today. Little girls, Princesses they already are and that is unshakable truth. Let them  hope big, chant and dress their beautiful selves in sequins and pink flowing gowns. Glittered tiara, crown of glory.

Their eyes focus on the beautiful, on possibility, on the liberating idea that letting go is in reality, letting in.

Letting in the light, a brilliant practice, illuminating, exquisite anecdote to fear.

And if the light blazes too bright, shield eyes momentarily, but only until the breath is caught, then let it go and continue that redeeming hunt for more glory. For every act of release is in itself, a triumphant hallelujah.