How To Travel Light

In preparation for our recent vacation to The Outer Banks, my body took on a mind of its own. Muscles I never knew existed bound tight, demanding a hiatus from daily routine, leaving me depleted, questioning the feasibility of even making such a trip on a plane. I sat down, layed actually, asked God for leniency, to speak to me, a miracle, anything. My body hurts 24/7 and I do not know how to do pain anymore. I am afraid, weary, I confessed. Scared of messing up, not getting this pain thing right. Are you preparing me for some great mission, like those people in the Bible who could not see any further than the present moment, and those who questioned? Job in particular came to mind. I want to play, bend down and scoop up grand kids. I want...I want...I want...My gratitude journal at the ready, like a soft down pillow, a resting place, I fixed my eyes on anything to give thanks for, this search for graces my hungry quest. How to fly? Soar above  circumstances.  A friend texted me song lyrics, others prayed. As we settled into our seats on the plane, my husband, daughter and twin boys, a recommended song by Steven Curtis Chapman filtered through the ear buds on my Ipod. This is not how it should be, this is not how it could be, This is how it is and our God is in control, This is not how it will be, when we finally will see with our own eyes, He was always in control...  Oh God is so very clever to sing me through the sky. But I don't know how to do this pain thing I reminded him. Yes, but I know how to take care of you. The truth is, I am in control. And I give, I give, I give. Leaving my fears about the trip behind like a super-bad haircut, I took him at his word. We snapped pictures, wrapped ourselves in the beautiful embrace of family, three toddler cousins, wonderful food and majestic scenery. Sweet southern birds trilling, a soothing balm for soul.  A surprise spa massage orchestrated by faithful husband on first day, an effort to ease my aches, a yes from God. Exploring new territory, marshes and lighthouses, sites to behold. My gratitude journal exploded. Is that cheating? Taking advantage of such bounty in the quest for 1000 gifts? I wondered. Nope. #831. Ospreys, winging their way above vast expanse of sound water. Oh, how he loves us...on the ground, in the air, in our despair, in our exuberance.  Through child-like eyes we witness grace, the wonder of it all.

"What kind of birds are those?" I asked my son. A park ranger sitting in her car on the ferry overheard. "They are Laughing Gulls." A smile spread wide across my face. Click click. And in the midst of storms, winds and thunder, in the wet and coldest of nights, he whispers, I will teach you how to fly. Just trust me.