Tunnel Vision

Why do human beings have to suffer? A dearly loved one dies and your heart is broken, aching. A colicky baby cries for nine months straight and your strength is thin as parchment paper. The doctor gives you a diagnosis, one with few options, and each evening when the moon takes command of the sky, you lay your head down on a soft pillow and the wrestling match begins again. Fear sneaks between the covers. The experiences that cause hardship, anguish, grief, and even fear, make us doubt and maybe even question the existence of a God who loves beyond measure. During my recent experience of pain, I searched for God everywhere. In the Bible, in my heart, in the words of comfort from good friends. I wanted so desperately to believe that God was on my side, fighting this battle for me because I didn't have the strength or the ability to handle this alone. My vision clouded beneath the fog of medication, my emotions were tangled as loose cords dangling from a computer tower, until all I saw before me was the unrelenting pain. Yesterday, as I left a department store, I passed a man and woman making their way down the stairs toward the entrance. This woman walked on crutches, one leg of her jeans knotted just below the right knee. I stole a look at my husband and then glanced at my own two feet cloaked in black clogs. Instantly, the veil lifted and a deeper understanding blanketed my mind. I had been looking at my situation with tunnel vision, with a limited view.We don't know the whole story, or even the next chapter. However, once the picture expanded, my focal point shifted, pointing me in another direction, away from my affliction and toward something with greater meaning. For during this season I am learning to appreciate more, to accept more, and surpsingly to me, to love more. My vision is improving.