The birds are trilling, getting their fill at the feeder, the cherry blossoms dress up the deck and ground pretty, delicate pale pink petals brightening the landscape. A snow day in spring. The calendar on the wall marks the date right clear, and my mind, it spools backward to 1984. Back when Ronald Reagan was president,
Ghostbusters opened in the theaters, and the clock ticked much slower without the humming of the Internet and the urgent need of cell phones. I see a ghost of a little boy out there on the deck, standing in a baseball batting pose, pretending to be Will Clark, and I recall that day in 1984 when the doctor first gave us the news. "It's a boy!" And my young mother's heart melted happy joy all over the hospital bed, that early morning hour in May.
With doctor's permission I ran all through my pregnancy and joined a prenatal aerobics class where I fell in love with Michael Jackson's "Thriller." I learned all the words to the songs, could sing them in my sleep. The labor went sideways that spring eve, shuffling through the chilly hallway with one arm attached to a liquid I.V. and the noise from all the hospital construction drowned out all my brave, caused the lyrics to freeze in my throat.
Drugs please, give me drugs please.
Having a son is a blessedly true gift from God. So is labor amnesia. Once we started raising this cheerful, beautiful baby boy I understood God's cleverness in gracing us with our daughter first. Our beloved boy liked exercise too, movement of any kind, and my running shoes stayed on my feet most days. Maybe God was giving us a glimpse of our future early on, the years spent on hard bleachers and lawn chairs, watching our son practice his gifting in three different sports all through school and college too. I think his older son has the gifting too.
We chat on the phone every Friday, my son and me, about anything and everything. Elongated conversations about his three kids, work, Jesus, books, health, politics and more Jesus. He lets me vent about a certain president, he is most kind that way. Bursts of joy pulse through the cell towers all the way from Virginia. When in town we go to the gym together, he opens the car door for his mother, he doesn't slam it shut. His eyes are like my brother's and it catches my breath at times, this likeness that passes on through the generations, how can that be so? His son has those same deep-set piercing blue eyes and maybe that similarity will just keep repeating, like a glowing sunset you watch for every day.
Perhaps one day in the future I'll be sitting on those hard bleachers again, watching my grandson, the one with the same gifting, playing in a baseball game. Patches of blue peek between the clouds and I look hard out on the field. "Is that Will on first base?" He chuckles, his familiar eyes shining kind. "No, Mom, you're thinking of Will Clark." I blink the eyes a few times, they don't work so well now. A red cardinal sings sweet, all perched in a nearby cherry blossom tree. And I hear music coming from a car parked down the street. An unmistakable beat, a faded memory rekindled, filling my mind's eye.
Oh what a thrill to come full circle.
Drumming wrinkled hands on my thighs, keeping time with the music, I scan the field looking for my grandson. I turn then to my beloved son and say, "Did I ever tell you about the day you were born?"
A son who loves God wild and large, this then gives perfect rest to his mother all the days of their lives.
