I strung the gold tie around a tree limb, stood back and surveyed her all over again, much like I have since she first lost her right arm. This fragile little angel ornament broke a number of years ago and it still remains a favorite of mine. It's not perfect, it truly is defective in need of repair, pretty much like the rest of us. And somehow this year, I found myself in the midst of the Christmas season with my gaze fixated in the wrong direction. Focused on the things I have asked God for, and on occasion begged God to change, to fix, to remove for good. Christmas on line gift shopping, hurried, rushed, forgetting to inhale that birth, gaze missing that bright star gleaming. The beloved carols ringing tinny in my ears.
Until I spotted brown-haired grandson pocketing a shiny red decorative marble, telling himself it was his "thank you rock." Oh, aren't you clever, Jesus, pinning me down right here, on the spot you gently perform laser surgery on my failing vision, removing the cataracts with your heavenly truth. And you got a two-fer, you're chatting with both of us! Grandson and I, we reminded ourselves about the Mercer Mayer book we bought last year, the one the that weaves a story about kids, rocks and thankfulness. There it is, the unwrapping, the unveiling of this glorious slice of heaven.
And when blond-haired grandson noticed our domed Nativity placed atop a table, I told him about my old decoration, the one with the broken shepherd's head, how it looked out of place being busted and all. He said this one looked funny, not like his own at home, and I rubbed his soft hair, thinking I might hunt in the closet for my old Nativity scene, the one in need of repair.
Later in the evening, drawn by the glistening round pieces of cut glass, I wandered over and palmed one, letting the sounds of the season wash over all that angst. Taking a cue from grandson, I looked up, whispered an ardent thank you. Two words spilling out, transforming the broken pieces, the waiting parts, taking the hard and crafting it into something beautiful.
A baby peasant king who came to save the world. A bright star penning a love note in the inky dark sky. An outrageous love that cups the whole world in his radiant, graceful, tender hand. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.