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Saturday, November 8, 2014

Wearing Your Brave Under Cover

He sat hunched at the dining table, slender frame cloaked in red v-neck sweater, dark slacks, bald head, this elderly gentleman he looked so frail. His smile, it gave me pause, the way his lips were pursed together, corners lifted sweet, and his eyes shone as if they held mysterious secret treasure. We had not met him yet, this newest member of my father-in-law's foster family. Mentioning how he got off to a rough start with my father-in-law, but they were friends now, timbre of his voice soft, quiet, made me smile tender. I looked out the window, branches littering the back yard, multi-colored damp leaves carpeting the fall ground. A storm roared through the city the day before. Yes, he was worried his wife might have had trouble getting home, what with all that howling wind.

I wondered why they didn't live together and what brought him to the small one bedroom adjacent to the dining room. Moments later she arrived, skitting across the floor, hands clutched to her deluxe walker, her son, his step-son, a few steps behind. After introductions, she promptly sat next to her husband, a tiny person herself. Oversized glasses, round expressive eyes, quick to grin and chuckle, a happy spirit. Before we repeated our names, our familial ties to this venerable gathering, the two were kissing, looking like precious valentines, teen-aged sweethearts."Wait until they sit on the couch out in the living room," their son informed us."They can't get enough of each other, holding hands under a blanket." An elongated roll of the eyes. Forty-five years married, she approaching ninety-six , him eighty-nine and both sporting walkers. I stole a glance at my husband. There is hope for us!

We were mere babies when we married forty-one years ago, first held hands on the zoo train at Halloween, no walkers in the house and as of this breath our story is not yet over. I was eager to know their tale, hungry to hear words pronouncing enduring love through wrinkles, arthritis, bad knees and hips, mistakes and failures. Loss of that invincible self who controls everything yet nothing at all. As we made our departure, walking to the front door, just like son said, there they sat on the sofa huddled together with a red-and-blue plaid cover folded over their laps. A security blanket. I knew I had stumbled upon a gift, breathing in sweet fragrance of adoration, a love so strong that age and distance cannot quench. And hands that cling tightly, lovingly, refusing to surrender to circumstances, they must have loved wild brave.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
~Lao Tzu~